This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
