rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
