Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
