loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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