she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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