You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Still dying that you shit outside
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
