Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
