You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
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