Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
