i think my mom watched the whole time
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
