none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
