Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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