And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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