in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
