then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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