I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You're like the curious george of whores
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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