I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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