she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
