I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
