And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
