You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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