You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
