I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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