We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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