sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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