she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
