Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
