Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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