I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Randomize
