Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
