This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
