3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i came on her dog
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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