I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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