Sponge bath it is.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
