I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
a search helicopter?!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
