I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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