So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
