my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
