We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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