Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
