should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
