and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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