Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
