i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
