I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
