Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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