Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
