Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize