am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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