Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
