I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
