Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Everclear isn't food dammit
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
