Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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