ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
