Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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