Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Randomize
