i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
