you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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