So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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