Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We had to coat check the pizza.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
