sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Randomize
