You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
