if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
