im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Drake has all the answers
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize