we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
