sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
